there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
