ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think pants incapable of making pants work
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
