I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
