I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
