it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
