I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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