I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
