I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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