But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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