She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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