i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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