so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
