living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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