The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
