you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
