i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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