The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
