I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I will pee on everything he values.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
