His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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