ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
