As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
