i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
