why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
