no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
