Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
