The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
