Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Randomize
