He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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