I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
