im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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