Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
