I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
