I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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