Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
