we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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