If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
