you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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