hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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