I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
