I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize