fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
