If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
