This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
