I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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