I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
