Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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