yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize