You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
