Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
