Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
