Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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