Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
