How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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