I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
