this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
