The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
