Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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