Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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