love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
