How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
