do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
