i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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