'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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