So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
