she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
