At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
